Movie Reviews

Somehow, I've been able to catch a few movies these last few weeks. All on DVDs, mind you. And all kind of sucky.

1. Babel

I actually saw Pan's Labyrinth in a theater. I also saw Children of Men, again in a theater. These may be the only two movies I saw since the summer. Anyway, I felt both were overhyped and unworthy of Oscar accolades (objectively speaking, not in comparison to the rest of the year's crop). And, I should have expected this third installment of the trifecta to be likewise disappointing. Really, the most compelling part was figuring out how they got bags underneath Brad Pitt's eyes. And while there was nudity, it was a little weird, because the Japanese girl was supposed to be really young. Non-enjoyable nudity is often worse than no nudity at all.

2. John Tucker Must Die

This was a bad movie. It had that girl from American Dreams, which I never watched. And Jenny McCarthy was her mom. Which made me feel old. The protagonist looked a lot less like Zach from Saved By The Bell than he appears in the poster. Not even gratuitous nudity would've saved this movie. It was no Bring It On, or even She's All That.

3. Happy Feet

This sucked. Robin Williams had a Hispanic accent, which was apparently supposed to be funny in its own right, since his lines were nothing special. And now Messy Jr. is scared of orcas. Great. Hugh Jackman was especially awful as the penguin's dad. And I hate Brittany Murphy whether she takes the form of a human or a flightless waterfowl. But it was eerie how much the main penguin looked like Elijah Wood. Really. None of the penguins were wearing clothes, so I guess that counts as nudity.